The Liliana Blog

That’s a nice beginning for a psychopath…

I found something very important about myself today.

I don’t like many stimuli at the same time.

I prefer to cope with one stimulus at a time.

For instance, when I listen to some music I feel as the sound fills me up entirely leaving no space for anything else.

The same thing happens when I look at an astonishing view or at beautiful colors. The experience fulfills me.

I can’t pay attention to another thing.

My brain only accepts one sense each and every time.

October has begun.
It rained.
A heavy storm came and went away.
All my dogs are asleep around me, snoring.
It sounds good.
We are healthy.
Peace at last.

How? Why? Oh, Universe, answer me.

Why do I have my late grandfather’s teeth on my bedside drawer?

(I’m cleaning up my home…)

Who has frail ego is so obvious.

They look at you as a menace to their egos and try to underestimate you in all the ways they can.

Unfortunatly it gets on us and afects us sometimes even if we are above those things.

I don’t like if people mess with me and my job.

I’m not stupid and I know what they’re trying to do.

And I won’t let them.

It’s better to equals to go together. I’m not like them, so I get out.

Simple as that.

I prefer to hang with nice people.

“Dr. James Wilson: [to House] We’re not friends anymore House…. I’m not sure we ever were.”

Well done, Wilson.

Well done.

Kiss by Liliana

My Mantra is to live day by day.

But sometimes I must live by the minute.

I don’t have kids.

My dogs are my family and I love them.

I never wanted to be a child’s mom. That’s the way I am.

I live with 3 dogs: Graça (Grace), Tai (Peace) and Gigio (Luigi). They are old, more than 10 years old each and they undestand everything I say. We live in harmony at a small ranch where they bark at cows and hawks.

Grace is sick right beside me.

I’m waiting to a friend to help me put her on my car to take her to the vet in the nearby city. We don’t have vets here. Sometimes I’m the vet. But I can’t do it for my own dog, my baby.

It’s a two hour trip to the vet and I’m really tired.

I’m sick too.

Wish us luck.

It means I’m back home in São Francisco Xavier, at my small ranch in the woods. I left the beach and went back to the South because my plans failed miserably.

I lost my house at Gostoso Beach because it was rotten and it couldn’t be rebuilted. I had to demolish it.

So, I get no house there nor money to build a new one. And the proper thing to do was to come back to my old house and lick my wounds if you know what I mean.

Now I must say I’m not quite where I’ve started. I’ve learned a lot. I assure you that.

Maybe I’m tired, maybe I’m hurt a little, maybe I’m kind of lost.

But I enjoy the ride.

Always.

“We have food, TV, internet, water, a blog to write on, blankets, a sofa…

Yes, we’re ready.

(It’s cold and rainy outside.)”

“Don’t mess with me.

I’m serious.

I’m wearing my Tag Heuer now.”

It is very solitary to be an individual.

I think the first time we experiment our individuality is when we suffer alone for the first time and we can’t share with others our feelings.

Some people feel this anguish early in life and others don’t for a long time. Or won’t feel that at all.

Once a very wise woman told me that this solitude of being is the turning point to adulthood.

I’m feeling very old now.

This is a beautiful sunset near my future home at Tourinhos Beach.

Please, don’t mind the dialog in Portuguese.

The man is sweet talking me.

He’s after my Land Rover to do some tourist job. (And maybe to do me also.)

I said no to both.

I’ve just signed up for Utterz.
And I don’t know how it works yet.
I twit sometimes but don’t have enought patience to tell people what I’m doing or share things all the time.
I’ve told already I stay quiet almost all the time.
One man came to greet me at Utterz, in his own means.
He reminds me my ex-husband so much…